The open bar is load-bearing infrastructure Guest list management is PvP with your parents. Your DJ will play YMCA. This is not a negotiation. The ring exchange is a cutscene. You cannot skip it. Nobody reads the wedding website. Put "open bar" in the subject line. The wedding budget has a difficulty setting. Nobody picks Easy. Someone will wear white who is not the bride. It will be discussed for years. The officiant is just the NPC who triggers the final cutscene. The RSVP "maybe" is a form of soft warfare. Cocktail hour is the loading screen. Make it count. Somewhere right now a groom is pretending to have opinions about napkin colors. Every wedding has a chaotic neutral guest. Identify them early. At some point someone will request Bohemian Rhapsody. It will work. ★ Ring Run is in beta — be first to have arcade games at your wedding Your in-laws are the expansion pack. Mandatory install. The best man speech should be under 3 minutes. It never is. The father of the bride is the final boss. He was on your side all along. The wedding hashtag will be used exactly twice. Once by the photographer. Side quests include: bouquet toss, garter belt, uncle doing the worm. The groom who said "I don't care about the wedding" cared about one thing. He got it. Save before the rehearsal dinner. Everyone ignores the tutorial anyway. Every toast has the line "when I first met [name]." We allow it. Wedding planning has no easy mode but unlimited continues. Your photographer will see you cry before your mother does. The vows are the tutorial level. Destination weddings are regular weddings with better excuses not to invite people. The reception is the post-credits scene. Worth staying for. At least one groomsman is running on two hours of sleep. He'll be fine. ★ Honeymoon Hustle is in beta — reserve yours before we open the doors A wedding without games is just a very expensive dinner. The photographer is your replay system. Tip them. The getting-ready timeline is a suggestion. The photographer knows this. The vows are character creation. Everything else is gameplay. Nobody has ever successfully cut a wedding cake cleanly on the first try. The venue is just the map. The entertainment is the game. The flower girl has attended more weddings than your maid of honor. Get married. Play games. Eat cake. Order negotiable. Nobody actually eats the top tier of the wedding cake at year one. Your registry is your loot table. Fill it wisely. The bachelor party is the last solo campaign. Make it count. You can't pause this cutscene. That's the whole point. New game+ starts at the honeymoon.